My Movie Journal

Yes, it's as bad as you've heard. Definately falls under the "so bad it's good" category. I would recommend watching this, but only with a group of like-minded, cheese-loving  people and, preferably, with a constant flow of alcohol.

No-budget Japanese zombie movie with a dumb story a few good gore shots and lots of horrible iMovie-quality digital effects. I guess it's played for humor, but there aren't really any truly funny moments.

A somewhat miscast French costume drama based on a 19th Century erotic novel. The male lead is played by a creepy man-boy / Macaulay Culkin look-a-like who is like a kid playing dress-up in his ill-fitting costumes. Asia Argento is good as usual, but I don't think tattoos where that common among Parisian society women at that time.

The series chugs along. Number three is still the best movie of the series, but this one performs as expected. The kids in secondary roles are all growing up to be weird looking young adults who have yet to master their craft.

I think I have a bias against films where the protagonist has a beard, unless said film contains magic and elves. Seriously, can you think of a good movie with a bearded hero... okay Planet of the Apes, but besides that? I found this film to be very dull and completely lacking in suspense. Sure, there are some visually interesting moments near the end, but the plot is predictable and you will know whodunnit very quickly. With some better pacing and more atmosphere this could have been much better.

Back when I was a kid I had seen Conan the Barbarian sequel Conan the Destroyer at least half-a-dozen times. It was rated PG and was one of those movies that played all the time on HBO (when they weren't playing Mickey and Maude). In fact, I just watched it the other night with my six-year-old who is terrified of Disney cartoons and even she seemed to like it. Surprisingly, I had never seen the original movie, which I have always assumed was much better. It is a better made movie, with more character development and a darker edge, but it might take itself a little too seriously at times when I would have preferred some of the cheese of the sequel.

Another Pam Grier blaxploitation film cut from the same cloth as Foxy Brown. This one is not as well paced or structured but it still satisfies. The overall revenge story works well and ends appropriately, however, there are several plot points introduced at the beginning which get lost in the mix much to the film's detriment.

After seeing The Machine Girl I was itching for more Japanese splatter, but it turns out most of these movies suck. They say movies are becoming like video games, and that is definitely the case with Meatball Machine. Only this film is like an hour-and-a-half long cut scene from a 1992 era CD-ROM game. Boring, poorly acted and wastes about a third of the movie with close-ups of a stupid, fetus monster puppet.

An excuse to have a lot of topless women fight in poorly choreographed battles, while the camera zooms in to their private regions every few seconds. Could have been good if the acting and direction were better. At least it was only 1 hour long.

A lot of people hated this movie, but I thought it was pretty darn good. Okay, the demons were a bit much and there's not much character development, but the slow beginning pays off with an exciting, stylish finale.

Bruce Campbell's self-depricating monster movie. Somewhat of a big in-joke, but I found myself laughing a few times.

Japanese splatter. Despite the gore, it gets boring pretty quickly.

Even better than Batman Begins.

Super stylish Japanese tribute to Spaghetti Westerns. Only hindered by the thick Japanese accents.

Very good ghost story from the producers of Pan's Labyrynth.

Still not sure what I think of this. A brutal character study of an anti-hero with a confusing plot.

Bad acting and a cheesy premise.

This is a pretty top-notch Giallo. It has George Hilton, Luigi Pistilli, a black hatted killer, bloody murder set pieces, sexy 70s European fashion, wonderful cinematic compositions, a dissonant score by Bruno Nicolai and oodles upon oodles of J & B Scotch Whiskey. On top of all that, a story that actually makes sense (a Giallo rarity!), you be twisting and turning until the very end.

A lot of people said this was horrible, but I didn't mind it so much. Funny but completly lacking in character development.

Decent animated feature that's completely cliche, but enjoyable.

Like a long medicore episode. Very disappointing.

Japanese horror that draws almost note for note from Italian gore-maestro Lucio Fulci--synthy score, gratuitous eye gag, sound f/x track that is comprised almost entirely of someone stirring a bowl of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. Not quite a classic, but there are some nice misdirections and twists in the set pieces.

"Imperial battleship, halt the flow of time!" This is some awesome trash. Mostly crap, but pay attention to the score by John Barry(!) and the beautiful widescreen shot framing.

Not bad, considering the "monster" is not in the least bit scary. The initial set-up is a bit slow, but it picks up to become a fairly well-paced film. Kinda like a mix between Cabin Fever and the TV show Survivor.